Clarisa Garza - Blog
The 5-Year Stranger Theory and Why It Matters in Business
One of the most thought-provoking ideas I’ve come across recently is something called the “5-Year Stranger Theory.”
The concept is simple: some of the people who are a major part of your life today could be complete strangers to you five years from now.
Not because of a falling out.
Not because someone did something wrong.
Just because life happens.
People grow, careers change, families evolve, priorities shift, and paths separate.
Five years ago, there were probably people you talked to every single day that you rarely speak with now. At the same time, some of the people you couldn’t imagine your life without back then may have been people you hadn’t even met yet.
It’s a little sobering when you think about it, but it’s also a reminder to be intentional.
Relationships Are Either Growing or Fading
In business, we often focus on transactions, production goals, social media growth, and the next opportunity.
Those things matter.
But when I look back on my career, the most meaningful opportunities didn’t come from a marketing campaign or a perfectly crafted business plan.
They came from relationships.
The people who trusted me, the people who referred me, the people who believed in me, and the people who challenged me to grow.
Relationships don’t maintain themselves. They require time, effort, and attention.
And just like personal relationships, professional relationships can slowly drift if we’re not intentional about nurturing them.
The Mortgage Industry Is Built on People
One of the biggest mistakes I see in our industry is treating relationships as temporary tools instead of long-term investments.
It’s so easy to focus on the next closing, the next lead, or the next opportunity.
But real success is usually built through consistent connections over time.
The realtor you haven’t checked in with for six months, the past client you’ve been meaning to call, the mentor you’ve been meaning to thank, or the community organization you’ve been wanting to support.
These relationships matter.
And if we’re not intentional, today’s strong connection can become tomorrow’s distant memory.
Building a Business Requires Looking Beyond Today
They’re focused on: this month’s closings, this quarter’s goals, and immediate results.
But sustainable growth requires a longer view.
Ask yourself:
Many people build their businesses with a 30-day mindset.
Who do I want in my network five years from now?
Who am I investing in today that could become a lifelong relationship?
What relationships am I neglecting because I’m too focused on what’s urgent?
Some of the most valuable relationships in your future are being built through small conversations happening right now.
Be Present While You Have the Opportunity
The 5-Year Stranger Theory isn’t meant to make us sad. It’s meant to remind us that nothing stays the same forever.
The clients you’re helping today are creating memories in homes you’ll always be connected to.
The referral partners you work alongside today are helping shape your business journey.
The colleagues you see every day may one day become stories you tell in a different season of life.
That’s why it’s important to be present.
Return the phone call, send the thank-you note, schedule the coffee meeting, and check in on the person you’ve been thinking about.
Not because you’re expecting something in return, but because relationships are valuable while we have the time.
Planting the Seeds
One day, “every day” can become “remember when.”
The people in your life today won’t all be there forever. That’s simply part of growth.
So be intentional with your relationships.
Invest in people, show appreciation, be present, and stay connected.
Because at the end of the day, businesses are built by people, communities are strengthened by people, and some of the greatest opportunities in life come from relationships we choose to nurture before they’re gone.